Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Today's topic is: Where to place your GPS/Satellite radio in your car
I'll make this one nice and easy folks, using simple pictures, not those silly words that might bewilder you.
The proper place to put your GPS/Satellite radio:
The wrong place to put your GPS/Satellite radio:
Sunday, August 26, 2007
The double -Ds are for a double dose of this pimpin'. It's from a great movie and if you don't know WHAT movie...you're not American.
In other news: Carrot top is scary and is at the heart of all my nightmares after watching the roast of flava flav. He needs a double-dose of straightness.
Its a great song. "You sausage wallet I love you"
Monday, August 13, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Paul Posluszny likes to hit things. If you replace the RB in this video with Tyler Palko, then you know what the Buffalo rookie did to the Saints' backup QB in Fridays preseason game. He also had 8 other solo tackles in less than half of the game.
Cutler, he's a dead man! Rothlisberger, dead! Brady... DEAD!
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
While you jerks WEREN'T POSTING awesome things about the BILLS in the past month...I was seeing weird things like the above rip-off strongbad character on a "yellow pages" in a hotel room...OR sitting in a lovely corner office with a SHITTY chair (see below).
Yeah, i'm 99% sure that's Chinese excrement on that there chair. Funny thing about those squat-over-and-shit toilets -- there's usually NO TP.
Anyways, enough about >> THE BILLS SEASON STARTS SOON.
http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/leaderboard/message?msgid=41105 ** thought that was a posting for a league only thing, as it turns out, more people than I thought will see my thoughts on Travis Henry being very ape-like.
BILLS (seasonal tourette's is starting up again....)
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
A forecast of what should happen to the captain at the hands of nick. But forecast is simply another word for a prediction, no this is like Minority Report type shit, only i'm using early 1990's COPS footage, what of it?? Kid is getting battered.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
I held onto my money real tight.
Ever realize how great dog fighting is? Thanks Mike Vick. I've got two contenders I think could go places in the the UDFC (Ulitmate Dog Fighting Championship circuit). They're small but scrappy and one has doggy-style Tourette's and the other is a fat fat fatty.
When these dogs aren't fighting you might find them raping things. Rape. Yes, Rape. Watch the "Hand Banana" episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force to remind you. Hopefully the clip below works.
FYI: the yellow thing and other thing are "dogs" and the guy is probably me in 10 years (sans the whole being-raped thing).
Aqua Teen Hunger Force - Hand Banana
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Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
This is an actual quote* from a Yankee fan I was talking to last week:
BRO, 26 World Series Championships. That's all I got to say. Payroll? Forget about it bro. It's not our fault our owner cares about winning more than anyone else. Nah you go ahead I don't watch games until the playoffs. What's the point? Wait they aren't playin the Sahx are they? Yea forget it then me and my KapSig bros are about to play some beirut. Have fun though bro. Go Yanks!
* May or may not be an actual quote.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
2. SHOULD be an olympic sport. Guaranteed to boost ratings...among other things.
3. I've seen strippers in this same position. Women's pole vault has my full attention. When are the olympics?
4. This came up when I googled some women's sports. It creeped me out enough to throw it in here for fear that I would be smothered in chicken flavored ramen noodles the next time I'm in asia. Not a way I'd like to die.
5. Baby boiling. Really no relation at all to the title of this entry, but what the hell? The parents are obvious drunks; check out all the booze in the background. I've made some drunk food in my day but never have I thought to cook me up some baby simmered in his own poop sauce. This picture makes me say "awww" and get angry at the same time...so its a good boner-kill to end on.
Hope this satisfies the 10% decrease in bills stroking and 50% increase in snizz.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
The greater point is that we need to learn from WithLeather if this blog is ever going to make it big - we need more photos like above (which, I might add, is still causing me intense cockpain and forced me to write this entire post with my one free hand) and we need more immature things to say about her - especially since she's practically asking for it. She's a POLE VAULTER for God's sake! It's basically a synonym for "Cock Jumping" (which could, and should, be a sport) and is the most phallic sport outside of a hot dog eating contest. We need to be at the forefront of misogynistic sports commentary, which is why I'm currently trying to get those bogus indecent exposure charges expunged from my record so I can go back near the local high school and cover the ample (and supple) female sports scene.
So, in conclusion, I propose a 10% reduction in Buffalo-felating, and a 50% increase in random shots of hot trim. Or we could just keep posting photos of you guys playing pong outside. Either way is OK for me.
Monday, May 28, 2007
So all this being said lets get down to what I really came here to do… Laugh derisively at Disney, Gore Verbinski, Johnny Depp, France, and 14 year old girls.
AH AH AH AH AH
Not that 112 million is anything to scoff at, I just love when a formulaic, dog shit sandwich of a movies fail to accomplish what the movie bosses and their ivory backscratchers set out to do. Hopefully this can save us from POTC: 4-6, which has honest to God been rumored. Now if only the people pumping out the Shreks can get blind sided by a blitzed out of her gourd, Lindsay Lohan. I’d have to really hand it to god if something like that happened, maybe we ARE all part of his plan.
And as for examples of God’s existence, how in the hell does Damon Jones have a job??? I’ve watched a fair amount of Cavilers this season and this guys better wake up every morning and thank somebody that he’s not only employed but rich. I’m firmly convinced that Down Town Bobby Brown could do his job at NBA speed better than him. That isn’t even an exaggeration I seriously believe that and he’d make better decisions with the basketball too. I know for a fact DTBB could go 2-14 on wide open NBA 3’s with like 3-4 turnovers and 0 assists, PAY THAT MAN.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Spurs in 6 - I actually think the Pistons will win in 6 but I predicted the Spurs to beat the Bulls in the finals so I will stick with the Spurs by default. I'm jumping ahead of myself by saying these two teams will meet, but lets be realistic, its gonna happen. This series might be the best case scenario for the NHL playoffs. There won't be a soul outside of San Antonio or Detroit that will show any interest in this series. I'd be surprised if either team scored 90 points once in this series. Although Teyshaun vs Bruce could kill each other off, it might be worth a viewing.
Whiskey over Human - umm picture
Motorcycle Rally over Sleep - Motherfuckers woke me up at 7:30am, and have kept me up since, (10:15am now) hence this nonsensical babbling on my part.
Monday, May 21, 2007
The NY Knicks have ZERO chance of seeing the consensus #1 and #2 pick in their uniform for the 2007-2008 season. In fact, there is a better chance that director/producer Peter Katona suits up for Isiah's boys next season. With that said the Knicks have a 1.9% chance of landing the top pick and alas Greg Oden, and a 2.2% chance of landing the 2nd pick, Kevin Durant. But thanks to Eddy Currys strong heartbeat, the knicks will hand over their first round pick to the Chicago Bulls in exchance for Chicago's #1 pick. If the Bulls are able to re-sign Andres Nocioni and lock up Ben Gordon long term, obtaining Oden or Durant would create instant attention and demand double teams which leaves the jumpshooters like the aforementioned Gordon alongside Luol Deng and Captain Kirk Hinrich open to take their jumpers.
With that said, I'll give Isiah his due, the guy can draft. David Lee is a rebounding machine and Renaldo Balkman has been more or less the same player..huh? Yes, Renaldo Balkman turned out to be one of the finer rookies from the 2006 class, despite all of the heat that Isiah took for taking him. Now its time to build around those players and take out the trash that is Starbury, Franchise and Jamal Crawford, draft a SG or PG and prepare to push for the playoffs in 2-3 years. But then again there are guys like Jered Jefferies and Channing Frye getting major playing time...ok fuck it, it's too hard to put a positive spin on the Knicks.
Tomorrow Night is the improbable chance that the Bulls become the force of the East for the next decade and at the the cost of the Knicks. Ahhh Perfect.
Bulls select Spencer Hawes with 9th pick (as long as they dont take Roy Hibbert, that is just begging to be Mike Sweetney all over again, in fact he is 2 cheeseburgers away from wishing he had Eddy Curry's heart, i think knick and bulls fans can agree on that.)
Knicks select Javaris Crittenton with 23rd pick.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
The Sabres are almost sure to lose both Mr. I can do Everything (Drury) and also the regular season leader in even strength points (Briere), but through great drafting, player development, and coaching, will undoubtably field another championship threatening team next season. I can only hope that the people of Buffalo see this "failure" of a season as another building block of a dynasty rather than a failed shot at glory. There is too much talent, class, and winning attitude in the communtiy for the window to be closed on a championship for the Buffalo Sabres.
Thank you Chris, Danny, Ryan, Jason, Jochen, Thomas, Derek, Maxim, Brian, Henrik, Toni, Teppo, Ales, Adam, Paul, Jaroslav, Andrew, Dainius, Drew, Tim, Dmitri, Nathan, and Daniel for an unforgettable season.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
I wouldn't be surprised if we saw Stafford in the lineup for an injured Zubrus and Paetch in for a benched Kalinin for game 5 on Saturday. "Shortening the bench" as the announcers like calling it worked great in game 4, but if they have to go to an overtime or 3 they would need some fresh legs out there.
Fine writing by Davos the philosopher on his write-up after game 3.
I set up my account on BfloBlog so that if someone clicks on my name when I post they will come to I Bet I do... CHRIS. If some people click on accident we might actually get one or two people we don't know at the site.
Any other predictions/thoughts about potential (or non-existent) lineup changes?
Any input from Yankee fans about what it’s like to be up 3-0 and then lose the series?
(sorry couldn’t resist)
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Monday, May 7, 2007
-The YANKEES and their "team" *cough* collection of individuals
-It's sucking-dry of Western NY tax dollars
-And the d-bag who gave me a parking ticket today is probably from there
Sunday, May 6, 2007
2.) Relocated New Yorkers referring to their home as "The City," as if no other city matters.
3.) All of the 'bros' and 'dudes' from L.I.
4.) Woody Allen and Spike Lee
5.) unconscionable defense of one of the worst subway systems (which a certain hot shot lawyer has urinated in)
6.) The Director of '4th and goal' resides there.
7.) Rucker park hasn't produced a solid baller in years.
8.) Roger Clemens is a huge d-bag.
9.) same goes for Jeremy Shockey.
10.) and Jaromir Jagr.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
1.) Adam Mair – Let’s face it… this guy is pretty fucking angry. He has the scariest quality in any real fighter, pure, raw hate. He isn’t the biggest guy and doesn’t even win that many fights but he backs down from no one. I’m fairly sure he’s fight a rodeo bull if he was mad enough, or a great white shark in shallow water if he didn’t like the way it was looking at him.
1.) Paul Gaustad – ALSO coming in at number 1, and it is basically for the same reasons as Adam Mair. I’m not sure if you can distinguish which one is angrier than the other but I DID want to have “Paul Gaustad Hates YOU!!” t-shirts made up sooner or later.
2.) Maxim Afinogenov – I don’t think he has any real fighting skills or size or anything to be traditionally afraid of… but remember the part in Happy Gilmore when he talks about being the only guy to ever take his skate off and try and stab somebody during a game??? If you got into a fight with Max I can’t say for certain he wouldn’t try it. He may not be the most dangerous fighter but if you tangle with the mad Russian you take the chance of beating his ass or getting a career ending injury.
3.) Ryan Miller – Never seen him fight, don’t want to see him fight but he is the craziest mother fucker in the room and I really wouldn’t want to test that kind of rage. Kind of like picking a fight with an Asian guy… might be easy, quick, and painless. OR he is some sort of martial arts genius with retard strength and BAM you’re half a man for the rest of your life.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Seriously, bro...bro...bro, listen. Bro, the Rangers got this series down cold. You Sabres homos got lucky with that overtime bullshit. That shit wouldn't work back in the Bronx...me and my badass bros (you know, there's Tony, Anthony, Antonio, Tony Jr., Antoine, and Lil' Tone) wouldn't stand for it. Jagr is on fire, Shanny is the man, and Ryan Miller is a fudgepacker. New York Rules! Shout out to Staten Island! Their the greatest!